✨ How to Manage Burnout as a Community Builder

Areehhhh can we talk straight for a minute? The signs of burnout are subtle. They arise when you least expect it. But they’re real, especially for us founders and community builders. 

Before being a community builder or founder, I don’t think I really understood burnout properly. Heck even when I was building community or became a founder I didn’t even recognise the signs despite them seeming blatantly obvious now that I have perspective. 

I remember thinking, "how could you not realise that you are BURNTout?".

Because it’s subtle. It’s this delicate dance between juggling priorities and not burning the candle at both ends (which is really hard when you're managing a growing community with competing priorities). Soon there’ll be nothing left to fuel you (which is not what we want!). 

I learnt this the hard way. At the end of 2022 after I had quit my full time job to see if I could turn The Community Collective into a viable business and community (which it now has become yay) I burnt out. I took on too much in my work life, personal life, music life, social life, family life and everything in between. It wasn't just about starting a business, but I really didn't anticipate the added stress it would bring into my life. I thought I could keep all my other commitments going but it just wasn't feasible. 

In short, I ended up hitting rock bottom and cancelling an entire week of commitments to rest and recover. I did a lot of journalling, reading, sleeping and it's only really now, 8 months on, that I have perspective and more awareness.

I'm not saying that I've got it all figured out or that you need to hit the bottom to have awareness! No way. My point here is to share my experience openly in the hope of increasing your own awareness in order to prevent you from sliding down that slippery slope towards an empty tank. 

So here's what I learnt in the hope of helping you on your way (hopefully away from burnout 😅) and to anyone that might need that gentle wake up call to not head that way.

What is Burnout?

According to the Queensland Government, "Burnout is a state of complete mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion. When experiencing burnout, you may notice it is difficult to engage in activities you normally find meaningful. You may no longer care about the things that are important to you or experience an increasing sense of hopelessness."

Plus I found it really interesting hearing how the World Health Organisation defines burnout too:

“Burnout is a syndrome conceptualised as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:

• feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;

• increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job; and

• reduced professional efficacy."

The biggest factor that comes to light for me here is the losing meaning and a sense of purpose in the things that usually light us up. It's this strange juxtaposition whereby you know you love something but have just lost all passion and drive for it. Fascinating right? Dangerous actually. 

Now let's dive into the signs so we know what to look out for. Shall we? We shall. 

The Signs of Burnout

The best thing I did was to write down the subtle signs of what it looked like for me to burnout. These will be different for everyone but here's mine:

• I wake up tired 

• I feel happy but am exhausted 

• My calendar is really full and it scares me 

• I work late 

• I have over 80 emails in my inbox and feel like I'm letting people down 

• I start to drop my healthy daily habits (exercising, meditating, walking etc) 

• I haven’t seen my friends in a while 

• I’m distant and distracted with my partner 

• My skin is dry and eyes are tired 

• Everything is actually "going really well" but I feel distant 

• I know I need a break but everything feels urgent and important

• I question why I am doing what I am doing  

• I frantically look at my calendar to see where I can cancel things but it all feels overwhelming  

• I try to rest and chill on the weekend but still say yes to social commitments 

• I play guitar less 

• Food seems less appealing and I sometimes lose my appetite 

• I feel “slammed”

• I struggle to fall asleep easily because my mind keeps thinking thinking thinking 

• I start to describe every week to friends as “yeah it’s just a really busy time, it'll pass soon” again, and again and again.

The list goes on. And each list will be different for each person.

And just one of these signs in life might feel harmless and manageable, and so it should be. But it's the accumulation of all of these signs building up that creates this dangerously delicious cocktail that we can’t seem to stop drinking even though deep down we know it’s not good for us. Deep down we know it's damaging, but why does it seem to taste so good? Why do we not see the obvious signs when we're in it?

Because when we're in it, it's hard to have perspective. And sometimes what we spend time on can actually feel energising and fulfilling. Heck I love the work that I do! I love the music gigs I play! I love the friends I hang out with! So it’s easy to think, how could I get exhausted from the things that FUEL me? That I love?

Well my friend, there’s a limit. 

And even though you might be close to hitting that limit, you still might find ways to make excuses about why you can't find time to rest. 

"Oh but just one more thing." "After this big launch I can rest." "It's actually just more productive for me to do it than to train someone to do it." "I can't cancel on Sally, she's shown up for me so many times."

The thing that caused burnout for me is when I had a really full week of working, perhaps a late night because there was a big event, launch or challenge to work through. And then I had a really full social weekend where I’m ‘on’ in a different capacity. This cycle was then repeated several times.

This is where I went wrong. I had the full weeks at work and then didn't make time to consciously rest and recover after them. I would just head straight into a really full weekend with music gigs, friends, adventures and then would go straight back into a full work week. Where was the conscious down time to refuel? Where was the time for Paz to recharge?

I realise now that after the full weeks and weekends, I can't just go back to my normal routine. I need to actively create more space and down time in my life after the busy periods. I need to remember, I'm not a superhuman (although using Superhuman to manage my inbox makes me feel like one sometimes :).

Here's an example of the bad habit that I had:

BAD HABIT: I had a really crazy busy week at work and then went straight into a jam packed weekend with various plans and didn't make a conscious effort to rest. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat. 

Now let's flip that to the good habit that I've now learnt to cultivate: 

GOOD HABIT: after having a really crazy busy week at work, I realise that I need to rest more and politely reschedule that dinner with a friend on the weekend and swap it out for an early night in with a bath and book and am in bed by 9pm on Friday night, and possibly even Saturday night. I use my phone less on the weekend and spend time alone walking, swimming, stretching and meditating. Or perhaps after a really full weekend with family I politely decline that industry dinner this week because I've hit my commitment quota of 1 event per week and will have an early night at home instead.

Feel the difference? I bloody do.

Now. I fully acknowledge that everyone’s lives are different and depending on your responsibilities (perhaps you have a family to look after, children to raise, caring commitments, you need to work extra jobs. You name it.) it may be harder for you to find that restful alone time. The point I’m trying to make is that you need to be aware that you can’t just go back to your normal routine after a really intense and busy time period, on a regular basis. You need to consciously do something different to build more time to rest. 

I made a drawing for you

Here’s a drawing I made to demonstrate the difference between the bad and good habit (inspired by some of the best and timely advice I received from Judy Anderson @ Euphemia - thank you):

I like to think of burnout like a kettle (ok hear me out). 

A kettle with good habits will always ensure they have more than half a pot of water full before continuously filling up other people's cup. It has enough for itself and enough for others. Then once it's empty, it refills it's own pot right to the very top (more than half this time!!!) before filling up the cups of others again.

A kettle with bad habits would start with more than half a pot of water full before continuously filling up other people's cup. But then one week they have a massive tea party and the kettle is serving other people more than usual. It keeps filling up everyone's cups and then forgets to refill enough water into it's own pot and starts to slightly burn the bottom. It keeps trying to add a dash of water here and a dash of water there but it's never enough. Eventually the kettle burns the bottom entirely and isn't able to fill up anyone else's cup or it's own. It needs to completely switch off as a result of the burn.

Hopefully we can learn to be like the happy kettle with good habits in this scenario.

Preventing Burnout

So what do you do if you notice some of those signs in your life? Or perhaps you’ve picked up some of those bad habits? 

Here are some prevention techniques I’ve found useful:

1. Signs: Write a list of your own signs that lead you down that slippery slope to an empty tank. What habits start to drop? How do you feel?

2. Rest: Write a list of all the things that constitute as rest and restore your energy. What activities fill your cup up? This is a great article about the 7 different types of rest, it doesn’t just have to be sleep!

3. Reschedule: Consciously look at your calendar and see if you can cancel or reschedule any current commitments. Where can you make space?

4. Space: After a busier than usual work week, ensure you book in time to consciously rest and recover. What restful activity will you do?

5. Prioritise: Write a list of all the tasks and responsibilities you have at the moment and list them in order of priority (this can be work or non-work related). Then ask yourself what can you automate, delegate and eliminate to remove things off your plate. 

6. Support: Write down a list of people you trust and feel you could speak to them openly. Who is in your support network? 

7. Reach out: Pick up the phone or shoot a text to one of those people to mention you’d like to talk about ideas about how to slow down. 

8. Working hours: Put your actual working hours in your calendar and then track how many hours you actually work each week. Are you working more than usual on a regular basis?

9. Routine: Plan more moments of rest into your normal routine. Where can you create space for stretching, walking and regular breaks? 

10. Journal: Start to journal about how you feel and what you think could be causing any overwhelm and exhaustion. 

11. Boundaries: Make a conscious commitment to know what you can and can't commit to. Learn how to politely say no and perhaps stop jumping on calls whenever someone asks you to. 

12. Meeting free days: Consciously block out 1 or 2 days each week where you have no meetings or calls with others for work (I like to have Mondays and Fridays with no meetings).

13. Big Breaks: Book in your annual leave 6-12 months in advance so you always know when your next break is coming up (and then actually do something restorative with that time).

14. Seasons: Plan 1-3 months of the year where you're actively not delivering offerings and are quieter times in the year. For me this looks like not running any events, meetups or programs every Jan, June and December to allow downtime in the work year.

15. Community: Find people who understand you and are in similar roles so you can chat to them about how they manage their time, responsibilities and stress. If you're a community builder, you can join our community here or here.

16. Meditation: Pick up a daily meditation practise (I’m a Vedic meditator and recommend Mahasoma or Brightside Mediation to learn this. Honestly this technique changed my life). 

17. Technology: Put your phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ or ‘Focus’ mode all the time so you check it on your own accord, and not when your phone notifies you. Plus use aeroplane mode from 8pm every night and create settings for your apps to automatically close when a certain time limit has been reached.

That's it! There's a few ideas in there. Plus there would be plenty more I'm sure. I'd encourage you to brainstorm your own list too.

And if you feel that you’ve been burning out and are already on that slope sliding down fast, or perhaps you've actually hit rock bottom and don't know how to treat burnout, read some of the further advice about recovery here or here. Plus you can reach out to someone you trust to help you or seek professional support. Remember, you're not alone.

Extra Resources

Here are a few extra resources to help you go deeper:

• How to Avoid Burnout 😮‍💨 as a Community Manager 

• Community Managers, burn-out and why some need more than a vacation.

• Community Manager Burnout: 9 Ways to Prevent It & Have A Healthy Work-Life

• Founder Mental Health and Wellbeing

• CMX #OfficeHours - Q&A - How To Avoid Burnout as a Community Manager

• Dark Side of Community Management

• Mental Health and Community Management

• How to manage emotional labour in communities

Alrighty. I hope this has helped you on your way to understanding and being more aware of this damn slippery slope. Life can be full sometimes and that's okay. 

Remember, there’s no one size fits all answer here so I really hope you feel inspired to create your own personal awareness action plan that’s tailored to YOU. Because it's just key to reminder ourselves (and the people around us) that when life is full, we need to make time to fill our own cups back up again (I like to call this the Full-fill-ing method :).

You made it

Thanks for reading. I’ll be back in your inbox on 17th to answer your most pressing questions.

Which reminds me, have a question you’d like to ask? Hit reply to let me know. I’d love to help you.

Until then,

Paz Pisarski
Co-Founder of The Community Collective

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